Sunday, June 11, 2006

After all I've done for that dinosaur, he kills me!...

Ever saw yourself die?

"Shoot. Do you really want her to die? Then do it. Shoot her in the head. So she won't suffer."

That's what the voice said. Vaguely that voice sounded like me.

"What are you waiting for? Do it. Just pull the trigger. She won't see it coming."

I hold up the gun. The gun that was in my hands. The tip was covered with blood of all those that I had killed up close.

"Well? Shoot her now. You only get one chance."

I couldn't see anyone. It was just too dark. I see nothing.

"She's over there. The girl is standing there."

I strained my eyes. There I saw her. Exactly in front of me. Her was back facing me. I aimed to shoot. My finger hovering over the trigger. I willed her to turn. Wanting to see her. The girl that was to die.

"Shoot. Shoot. Shoot." The voice chanted. "She won't turn around. Just do it. Get it over with."

I want to see her.

"When you see her, there would be trouble. You won't shoot her."

I pulled the trigger. I could hear the sound of the bullet. I see it making it's way to her. I could smell the gunpowder mixing with the blood of the gun.

She turned. I smiled. I really wanted to see her.

My smile froze. The girl was... me.

I killed me.

I dropped the gun. The voice laughed. Laughter filled with innocence. I stood over my body. I watched me die.

I was going through a previous entry in a previous blog that I had made and I came across a dream that I once typed out. I still can imagine and see me fall to the ground as that bullet made it's way to my heart causing the poor muscle to break under the pressure.

Watching yourself die, no matter what the situtation is never good.

Once had a dream where Barney murdered me and tried to make it look like an accident. Evil purple dinosaur.

Lotsa love, Jana

Labels: Lying broken in pieces

by jana at 9:57 PM |