On Christmas Day
Christmas Twenty-Oh-Nine wasn't so bad.
It really wasn't as bad as I feared it would be. I wasn't lonely, I did count the minutes that seemed to slowly, and dreadfully pass by, and the thought that I'm having such a pathetic time did not enter my mind at all. Sure, if I had a choice, I would have spent this day in a slightly different manner, but that being said, I believe I had fun.
I had only been sleeping for about two hours, when at 6 am, I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing, with the Turtle on the other end of the line. They came to pick up my brother, all the way at my Professor's house where we spent the night, and I had to wake my brother up (who was grumpy to say the least--I think it runs in the family because if you wake me up like how I woke him up, I would have bitten of your head for your attempt and slept again--because he didn't get that much sleep the night before) because they were right outside the house. So, disregarding the slightly grumpy brother, it was a wonderful thing to see the Turtle so early Christmas morning. It was as if a gift from heaven that I spent time with him on Christmas Eve and at least saw him on Christmas morning.
After he and my brother left, I went sleeping for like 3 more hours, when I woke up to a heavy breakfast of pancakes prepared by our hosts, and it was like Christmas dinner all over again. To Mrs. Professor, you bake a mean, and by mean I obviously mean amazing, batch of chocolate chip cookies. There was an unstoppable flow of cookies, pancakes, and hot brewed coffee, and the conversation around the table flowed freely as well.
When we left, I went with a friend to their guest-house thingie, and I spent the whole afternoon just sleeping in their nice and comfortable bed, within an air conditioned room, after which we ate food from Kenny Rogers. I mean wow, the food today is just girmazing is it not?
After that I went back to the dorm, and here I am blogging about it.
Funny how you expect something to end up so badly, and when the day comes, it isn't so bad after all? Now as I sit here, with the fan blowing in my face, and the sounds blaring in my ear, with Christmas ending in just a couple of minutes more, I have only one thing to say before I say goodnight:
Dear Jesus, on this day I just want to say that if you weren't born here on earth, life would pretty much suck. Also, I love you.
Lotsa love, Jana
Labels: Je, Kuya, Life in the form of chocolate
The Day Before Christmas
Things I did on the day before Christmas:
1. Waited for about an hour outside a mall for my late date (tsk, tsk, it's alright baby, I forgive you already) to show up. It gave me time to snap some pictures while waiting.
Also it gave me time to write in our journal, which we decide about a couple of weeks ago to own and to write in alternately so that I won't miss him as much, and he'll some way of telling me that I'm being crazy without me blowing up at him for calling me crazy, even though at that moment in time, I really was, you know, crazy. It works: I read it when I miss him, and he no longer loses his voice due to continually pacifying me.
2. Date, date, date, date! We just walked around the mall the whole time, ate some cheap food so that we both could afford the gift that we would be buying for each other on that day as our Christmas gift!
I bought him this Converse T-Shirt because I remember whenever we went to a mall or a department store somewhere, he would make a bee-line to the place where they had the shoes and he would stare longingly at a bunch of Converse shoes, and I knew that he always wanted one of those. So I thought that maybe this Christmas I could get him one. Unfortunately, I realized that I had not saved enough because I sincerely thought that I would be able to afford it with my measly 1 thousand pesos. To my sincere shock, it was 2 thousand plus pesos. So in an effort to be funny, and still buy him something converse-y I bought him this:
He on the other hand bought me the best handbag in the entire world, partly because he's the best significant other in the entire world, and partly because th bag is so soft and cuddly and I think this is the first time I ever fell in love with a pretty bag.
3. Then we (me, my brother, and two others) went to a professor of mine's house to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Morning with them. We ate some heavy food and spent time with their kids, who are so adorable, like seriously seriously adorable.
4. And now I'm sitting here blogging all about it, and waiting for Christmas to come so that I can text my parents how much I miss them and how I wish I was spending Christmas with them. I want to reassure them that, yeah me and my brother are doing okay here in the Philip of Pines. It's not so bad, and that they shouldn't worry about us. I miss them with all my heart and my Christmas Wish this year is that they would have the best of time, and that even though we're far away, we'll still actually be more together than any other family in the world. I'll love you, Mom, Dad.
Lotsa love, Jana
Labels: Kuya, Life in the form of chocolate, Love at its janajee-est, Philip Of Pines
Brain Nugget
My whole brain nugget this morning can be summed up in two short and very simple sentences that can be made complicated with all kinds of thoughts and roads that go in and out of my mind:
I've always wanted flowers. I just never acted like I did.
Lotsa love, Jana
Labels: Life in the form of chocolate
Saddening Hurt
Dear You (Or More Specifically All of You),
It's not just sad, actually. It hurts like... something that hurts so much that you couldn't even find an expletive or exaggeration that can adequately express the hurt that you feel, especially because you thought that this person, this person whom you now can walk right past is someone whom you really cared for back in the olden days.
I guess all I'm saying at this moment is that I miss you, and that I don't like how I have to be kept on reminded that we don't talk anymore, not because we're angry with each other or some stupid thing that was one of us did, but all because we just happened to grow apart over the days, weeks, months and years that passes.
I miss you, can't you miss me too?
Lotsa love, Jana
Labels: Olden days
The New Top Ten
A numbered list of my thoughts for the past moments of my life, because I find no other way to express such thoughts in an orderly manner due to the fact that they are neither orderly or well-mannered; they are rude thoughts, and by rude I do not mean rude in content but I mean rudely messy running over without pattern and just jumping all kinds of lines, those rude lines of thoughts.
Ahem, so anyway:
- I am sick and tired of having to wake up every morning with sniffles. What is up with that? Am I fundamentally sick, every single morning, and if I am, why?
- I am late in almost all of my personal deadlines, and I'm somewhat too lazy to do anything about it
- I do not know what to do with my novel and it's just sitting there, as a saved file in my laptop, unedited.
- I've decided to try the no-rice diet for a week, see how that works for me.
- Though, at the moment, I'm hungry and craving for some rice.
- I have just discovered The Big Bang Theory and literally after a few minutes into the show, I already love Sheldon. Planning on checking out How I Met Your Mother, for others are saying that it is just as girmazing.
- Your good-byes are useless because there's nothing good about your byes.
- I ate about three orders of Takoyaki in one day because of the craving I had for the Takoyaki I had in Brunei. Bruneian Takoyaki wins over Filipino Takoyaki, hands and pants down.
- Me and the Turtle have started sharing a journal, where we both write in it. Hope that this would be a lasting activity that we can share. Shall update after a week.
- Still craving for some rice.
- Should have eaten a heavier lunch, like maybe something with seafood and noodles or whatever.
- I am also currently in love with Shawn Spencer of the show Psych.
- That is it, I am going to go and grab me some noodles or whatever.
- I hate the number 13, I do not know why.
And remember: top fourteen is the new top ten.
Lotsa love, Jana
Labels: Kuya, Life in the form of chocolate, Olden days, Philip Of Pines, Schoolingness
To Whom It May Concern
Do you know how it feels?
No really, I bet you have no idea how it feels whenever you find out that one person you've trusted is actually not someone worth trusting, because honestly if you actually did know how that feels, then you would not have the energy or the emotion, or whatever it is you need, to betray someone who really trusted you.
What am I saying?
Well this is what I'm saying and read this words because I know you read this. You've never really trusted anyone, and because of that people have never really trusted you, or even if they actually did, you're lack of loyalty to anyone but yourself makes sure that it does not last long. You are the most selfish human being I have ever met, and for once in your life, can you just stuff it, and leave everyone alone? Just because you're not having fun, does not mean you can force everyone else to fall, you twisted, selfish, coward of a person.
And I will not take those words back.
Ever.
No love whatsoever, Jana
Labels: Lo this deserves no category
To People That Do Not Exist
Dear Characters of My Novel,
It has been one heck of ride this month eh? I didn't realize how much I would end up loving all of you in such a short while. Sure there were moments when I was getting really tired of having to type your name over and over and freaking over again, but during our short month together, you three have become really close to my literary heart.
So with the end of the month of November, and in the first day of December I just want to commemorate that you guys have been amazing. I'm sorry that you're author has been one crazy being, forcing one of you, Michael to be exact, to obsessive compulsive, and another to be ashamedly interested in the Twilight Saga for comic relief. I apologize from the bottom of my heart.
I do hope that when people get to finally read you, they would end up loving you as much as I have ended up enjoying writing you.
Lotsa love, Jana
Labels: Life in the form of chocolate
The Happy Pessimist
It's exam week.
I would go into the regular rant on how exams are eating me alive and that I have no life to speak of this week, but I am far, far too happy to talk about a depressing topic, no matter obligatory said rant is supposed to be, so can we please just pretend that I spent this whole paragraph right here talking about said none-life-ness and just skip that completely?
Ahem, ahem.
I have such a great expectation this week, but I can't really blurt it out because I might jinx it in some way or the other and then when it doesn't happen, all of the happy situations and plans that I would have shared here would be nothing but a painful reminder of an expectation gone awry.
But I am happy.
Happier than I've been for weeks, and probably months. Which is, well, not really saying that much because have you seen how suck-y my life has been lately? I think I deserve a break of some sort, don't you agree?
Of course you agree, because you love me.
I've been spending a lot of time to myself, and unlike my high-school years, I am not spending that time to myself crying, whining, and cutting myself uselessly. Rare, and unbelievable as it is to believe, I am enjoying the time to myself, and would have preferred to spending hours and hours all to myself.
It's like I just want to be holed up somewhere without any connection to anyone in the world (except the Turtle, because the Turtle is the exception in almost any of my rules in life, mood, and other things... oh and maybe my nuclear family too, because I love them too much to completely avoid them). I just want to be alone, and not because I'm depressed, but because it's making me happy in the midst of situations that have made me incredibly sad for the past few weeks.
Quoting a friend of mine who answered another friend of mine who asked if I was angry and depressed at the moment: Jana's been angry and depressed for about a year now.
A great exaggeration, I admit. But I have been really negatively affected by a whole lot of issues in this world, and by world I mean the College, and it is only by spending time by myself (or with the Turtle, or with the family), that I get a breather where an inkling of happiness appears before I'm shoved back into the real world.
Therefore I'd like to postpone the real world for a while.
So if anyone's looking for me, I'm the girl who is currently trying to get herself stuck in her own world before someone violently grabs and pulls me out of it, pushing me right back into the real world of pain and suffering.
Don't believe the hype, it's the pessimists that actually have the real fun in life, because we're either right or pleasantly surprised.
I don't know how to end this entry.
The end?
Lotsa love, Jana
Labels: Kuya, Life in the form of chocolate, Schoolingness
Christmas For Christ Musicale
Ever Dearest Pumpkin pies of the Philip of Pines,
You are all cordially invited to attend a Christmas Musicale hosted by FEBIAS College of Bible (a.k.a. as the College in my other entries), through the Student Missionary Fellowship. It will happen on December 3 and 4 of the year 2009. Admittance is completely free.
And this is how to get there!
If you love me, you'll be there.
Lotsa love, Jana
Labels: Schoolingness
Realization
This is a long overdue realization.
I have been fighting with Turtle a lot these past few weeks, and every time we fight, I'd be all emotional, and annoyed, and if I was allowed to swear, I'd probably be swearing at myself and sometimes at him too. Then I'd cool down and he would talk to me in his calming manner, and then I'd realize that it wasn't that big of a deal anymore and I'd prefer to end the day being ok with him, and he always makes sure we end the day like so.
Well, today, as I was talking to a bunch of my friends about how they treat their girlfriends. And they were sharing how they make sure their girlfriends are the ones to say sorry in a fight, and how they will never lower their pride because they're the male figure in the relationship, and how sometimes a girl just overreacts in so many little things that they will never tolerate, and when I listen to the very
valid reasons as to why the girl is angry at them, I think. And I start thinking really hard.
Then that's when I realized a very valuable thing; a valuable thing that I forget sometimes in the heat for an argument:
My Turtle is the best boyfriend in the entire world.
Do you know how thankful I am to have this man in my life? Sure, I say a bunch of stuff that hurt him, and there are a lot of times where I get unreasonable, and sometimes he really is at fault, however perfect for me he may be. However, and that's a pretty big however, I would never, ever trade my relationship with him, with any of the boys here at the college.
A guy friend once said that he and his girlfriend hardly ever fight, and I think but when they do fight it's usually never resolved, and it lasts for so long, and you know what? I think I prefer fighting all the time, and resolving it within an hour, because at least I know we resolve it.
Whatever did I do to deserve such Turtle as him for a boyfriend, I will never, ever know, and even if I did, I'd probably still think I am still the most blessed person on this world to ever have this guy as my future partner-in-crime for the rest of my life.
I love you with all my heart could afford to love.
Lovingly yours, Jana
Labels: Kuya, Love at its janajee-est, Schoolingness
A Rant - I Be The Duck
I am going to rant and spew angry thoughts unto a guy who ruined my friend's life by seducing her and now they've eloped, with the girl's family broken-hearted, and she had such a wonderful future ahead of her, and if the guy really loved the girl, why did he ruin her life like this? He could have waited and now what? If he really loved her, then he would have made sure that she finished college first, he would have gotten a job to be able to provide for her, and please don't tell me that's love, giving up everything blah blah, that's not love, they gave in to lust and not love, and what are they going to do now? Seriously. And yeah I know the girl is at fault too for being an idiot, but I can honestly say that I hate the guy more. He is a complete ass-wipe. I mean elopement?! Come on, that is such an idiotic thing to do, and Mr. Ass-wipe better not show his face and general body mass around me because he is going to get his ass kicked. Hard. Really, really, hard.
And I end this post with this picture.
By sglider12.Because the duck kicks ass.
Lotsa love, Jana
Labels: Lo this deserves no category
I'm Working On It
This is an excerpt from my novel and this is my favorite paragraph:
Her name is Melissa Cruz; we’ve been best friend since we were born, literally, since both our moms were best-friends who do everything together. They got married at the same date, got pregnant at around the same time, and I think this is ridiculous and personally believe that my mom may have made me come out earlier than I was supposed to, but we were both born at the same time, in the same hospital.
Ridiculous, but true.
And just like our moms, we are the closest of friends, we’re best-friends. As neighbors, we grew up in each other’s faces, taken baths together as children, went to the same school from kinder to high-school, and now in the same college, taking up the same course. We even have the same favorite color and sports: Violet and Volleyball. I call her Mel and she calls me Kel. We are exactly like our moms except for one crucial difference.
I was inevitably, unbelievably, completely and deeply in love with Melissa Cruz.
5,719 words, and several more thousands words to go.
Lotsa love, Jana
Labels: Life in the form of chocolate
National Novel Writing Month
Ladies, gents, and pumpkins.
This is it. I'm finally going to do something I've dreamed to do, since I won that Best Composition award when I was in Grade 5, and that is to actually finish a novel all on my own. And so I have decided to become a part of this annual, one-month, attempt to finish a novel, and it starts at midnight, tonight.
Do you know all the thoughts going through my brain? They consists of thought patterns that are equal to: What are you
thinking? Give up, right now, just do it, before you embarrass yourself, in front of everyone who will read this note (which is about 2 people, including myself?). You are
never going to find the time to finish a novel, you've got classes and work, and requirements, and your normal life to lead, so know this now,
you will absolutely fail.
But then the fighter in me, the one who has always dreamed of writing and finishing a novel since the minute she knew she could form letters into words into coherent sentences mixed together to form a paragraph, well she wants to tell the sodding idiot whom she lovingly calls
Anal-Retentive Editor who lives in the other end of my brain, and for one month, the fighter is going to tie up said editor, and only letting her out when November is over.
So, yeah. Novel, here I go.
Lotsa love, Jana
Labels: Life in the form of chocolate
Some Weird Entry That Makes No Sense
This but the beginning.
Last night, we saw a change, and we hope it's going to be the first of many, many changes. We hope that it won't end here, for we believe that finally, finally, after all the tears, fears, and indifference, it will all be over, and I just hope that I'll be there to see it end.
And when it does?
All the angry looks, all the sacrifices, all those cold shoulders, all those pointed words, all those double-edged meaning-filled messages, all of those would have been worth it. It would have been worth it. It would be so worth it.
We pray, and we hope.
And then we continue to fight.
Lotsa love, Jana
Labels: Life in the form of chocolate, Schoolingness
New-some
I cut my hair.
Like really short.
Like I just turned myself into a young emo boy, and the only things I'm missing are the eyeliners, the tight pants, the depressing tunes, and cut-scars on my arm.
And I absolutely, positively,
love how I look. It's like I've always been jealous of the emo-boys that I've seen hanging out the mall and their cool hair are always so very cool, and I've always wanted to have some form of it, and now? Now? I have the hair that somewhat looks just like it, and
I love it.
In other news, did I mention that our semestral break is over? Did I even mention that we had a semestral break? Did we even have a semestral break? Do those even exist nowadays? I mean this whole one-week somewhat of a break sped by so fast that here I am, still getting on my rest till whenever I want, and just when I'm comfortable, school slaps me in the face and says: "Hey, you lazy comfortable girl, it's time for class!"
Ah well, new semester equals new hair?
I can only say: Yay!
Lotsa love, Jana
Labels: Life in the form of chocolate, Schoolingness
Movie Reviews
It feels like it's been decades since my last blog entry and it's actually kind of funny considering that I actually have a ton of time on my hands. And it's not that I don't think about how you, my pumpkins, are so eager for me to update about the nitty-gritty details of my life, it's just that I've been spending most of my time doing something that I haven't done in the longest of time: Watching Movies Until the Wee Hours of the Morning and Sleeping For Only a Couple of Hours and then Watching Again. Believe me, brothers and sisters, if you haven't tried this activity, you have missed out on practically half of your life.
And since that's all I've been doing for the past few days, I am going to make a seriously long entry on nothing but movie reviews of all the movies I just can't seem to move on from.
Disclaimer: I am not a critic to be trusted because I have so many biases and there are movies that I love that not many will like, but you know what? I don't really care so let's move on to the movies I just can't forget!
Oh, just a note, there is no significant differences in the listing of any of these movies, and of course I love some more than the others, but it has nothing to do with the way these movies are listed.
17 Again
Okay, this movie, I have to admit that this is one of the best movies that I have ever watched. A lot of this positive-ness is dependent on the fact that one of my favorite TV-actors is present, even for a short while, in this movie: Matthew Perry. I love how Zac Efron portrayed Matthew Perry-ness in this movie, and I just love the twists in this story. My favorite part was when his daughter is seducing him, not realizing that she is seducing her own father. I also the interaction between the bestfriend and the principal, with the whole Lord of the Rings thing, which incidentally is also one of my favorite books. A sweet movie worth watching over and over again.
The Proposal
Totally worth the hours I spent trying to find a copy of this movie. Ryan Reynolds? What more could I ever look for? Ever since my
Deadpool obsession, when I first fainted like an obsessed fangirl over the hotness that belonged to Ryan Reynolds, I cannot get over the fact that such a Canadian exists. Hot, funny, and totally into comics,
come on perfect guy in the world, and my fangirl-heart loves him above else. Also Sandra Bullock is one of my favorite actresses and she was amazing in this movie. My favorite part was when they accidentally slammed against each other, and when Sandra had to chant from the heart (and that's all you're going to get because you ought to watch it for yourself to be able to understand the beauty of those scenes,
like seriously watch it).
Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End
I absolutely love this final movie of this wonderful series. This is my favorite of all of Johnny Depp's characters and that's saying a lot because the guy is my ultimate favorite actor, because he's cute and so amazingly versatile. He can do funny, scary, romantic, disturbing, theatrical, and what can this actor cannot do? I have several favorites in this movie and most of them include him in the scene. Like the naming of Larry scene, and the "did anyone come to save me, just because they missed me?" scene and the "I dropped my brains" and dude, I cannot believe how much this movie is just amazing. I just cannot move on, really.
The Forbidden Kingdom
I love this movie. Sure, it's a little weird when it comes to the English, but heck the movie and the scenes all made up for it. I love Jackie Chan, I've always loved him, and now he's partnered with Jet Li? Are you freaking kidding me? This is something that I, as a Jackie Chan-Jet Li-Rush-Hour-Chinese-Kung-Fu lover, would never, ever let pass, in any way possible. It delivered for me, and it was
amazing. The scenes where they became masters of one student was priceless. It was beautifully done.
Push
Totally freakishly amazing. The story was well written, the effects amazing, the actors and I loved every single twist in it. It was really that good. I loved how they made a plan, and had it erased from their minds, and then came a perfect execution of it. My favorite scene was with the picture in the end. After watching this movie, I really wished that I was a Shifter or a Pusher, and being someone with powers wasn't something I've wished for in the longest of time, so I'm thinking this movie was that good.
He's Just Not That Into You
The best movie I have watched recently, and okay yeah, this is the best of whatever I've seen this week. I love this movie to it's itty-bittiest. I've, literally, spent the few days after watched this movie, repeating the same scene over and over and over again. Like several times in a row for several days, and every time I watch it, it still gets me. I love Gigi and I love Alex. My ultimate favorite scene was when Alex said to Gigi, after short sweet can-you-shut-up kiss, this words:
"You are my exception"And did you see what I just did there? I placed it in the middle so that it would grab your attention because it was just that amazingly good! And yeah, isn't it totally obvious that I love this movie above all the other movies that I've watched this past few weeks?
I still can't move on.
Lotsa love, Jana
Labels: Life in the form of chocolate
From the Down Up
It's been a while.
And what can I say?
The last few weeks have been a horrendous roller-coaster filled with ups and downs. And sometimes I wonder, should I say anything anymore? Should I just shut up, and just say only positive things so that the whole world would be fine, thinking that I was fine? Should I hide behind a facade of happiness so that people won't be "stumbled" at how sad I truly feel, because everyone should always be blessed in what I say and do?
But I am so freaking tired of it. I was never like this, and I never really cared about what other people thought of me, and so why should I start to care now? I was never known to hide my feelings for very long, no matter how much I made myself believe that I tried to only later prove to myself that I didn't even take the first step to trying and man this sentence is quite long, because I'm sure it no longer corresponds to proper grammar rules, but you know what Ms. Old English Teacher of Mine,
I do not care what you think, and this sentence started and ended in ways completely unrelated to each other.
...
To heck with ranting.
I have just done a lot of things in between those three dots up there and now, as I'm typing and you know what, pumpkins? I'm feeling really good today, because of all the things that have happened, with all the people that I've talked to, and all the deeds that I have done. Everything is good and I think it's because for once in a very long while, I didn't care what anyone thought.
If I'm going to be happy, I'm going to show it, and if I'm angry, sad, pissed, depressed, for whatever reason, I am going to freaking show it, why? Because this is who I am. I am going to be what God created me to be, and unless I'm doing something wrong in my life, I don't see any reason to change whatever unique qualities that I have.
I'm loud, proud and happy.
Lotsa love, Jana
Labels: Life in the form of chocolate
Ondoy
I'm pretty sure no one's ever going to forget that name.
At least no one here in the Philippines will.
The reason why I haven't blogged about my experience with the... thing... that owns that name is because I was scared that I'd make a great big joke out of it, as I do with most things that scare me.
And I didn't want that.
What I want is to respect the death of hundreds of people in our country and to remember it, not as a joke, but for the terrible thing that it was.
And terrible it was.
I was stranded in a bus, for more than eighteen hours, because of the rain. I had to walk through floods and I was soaked right through. I was scared, and though I was with friends, I was worried that I might not see my family, the Turtle, ever again. My phone was already dead and I couldn't tell anyone where I was.
But it wasn't really that, that scared me.
It was the dead bodies that I saw.
I wasn't scared in the I'm-scared-of-dead-people-way, but scared because we were so close to becoming just like them. Scared that I couldn't do anything to help anyone. Scared because they never had a chance against the flood.
I just was so... scared.
Lotsa love, Jana
Labels: Lo this deserves no category, Philip Of Pines
Grumpy Lady and Crazy Uncle
It has been a while since I updated.
I apologize profusely for my lack of work here in this blog. Not that anybody really cares, except maybe you, my occasional pumpkin pie reader,
I love you, yes I do.
I blame it all on
Busy-ness, which I shall personify in this paragraph as a grumpy old lady who wants everything done perfectly in a perfect manner with every perfect detail in perfect order and perfect position and if anything is out of it's perfect design, then you can expect a perfectly horrid punishment, which will have long lasting repercussions that will burn into your mind the word:
Perfection.
So, I've been really busy.
Like unbelievably busy.
Like no one could possibly believe that this whole busy-ness of mind is possible but you have no choice but to believe it because it is possible and it has happened to me.
And today?
For half the day, I'm allowed to rest for about twelve hours, before I am once again beset by that grumpy old lady (see third paragraph) and I'm not allowed to take a breather until the semesteral break comes, and even then I may still be disallowed to have fun. She's a busy old lady that way.
Anyway.
I come here, all ready to get some rest, and what do I get?
I get none of that because even though I'm not thinking about anxious thoughts of school and my requirements, I am still thinking of several anxious thoughts regarding my slowly breaking apart uncle, who may I just point out is the same uncle who went
crazy in drama #3 and this is maybe
because he's on drugs.
Yep, the very same.
So not only have been incredibly busy this past... lifetimes... I'm not even allowed to get that half-day rest that I came here for because I'm scared out my wits that said crazy relative might suddenly throw a tantrum and literally start throwing stuff across the room.
So why do I type like I'm not scared?
Because, dear pumpkin pies, this is how I deal with stress. Talking nonsense until it all disappears from view. Sometimes it works, most of the time it puts me into more trouble, but it never fails to distract me from the fear.
Thank heavens that I am not alone.
Lotsa love, Jana
Labels: Life in the form of chocolate, Lo this deserves no category
Missing This
It's almost one in the morning.
And, obviously, I'm still wide-wide awake. I could blame it on the coffee that I drank at Starbucks today, which is weird because this is like the second time I've been to the place and it's always been a freebie, every time I come there. Someone always buys the coffee and the bread for me, because if it was just me, I'd just stick to hot chocolate please.
I could blame it on the free WiFi at the place where I'm sleeping tonight. I mean spending time typing and surfing the wonderful fairytale land called the Internet has always given me an energy boost that can make me run on steam for hours and hours more. I may have an addiction problem though, I'll have to get back to you pumpkin pies on that.
But I'd rather blame my general awake-ness with thoughts of him. Yes, pumpkin pies, I'm talking about the love of my life in the most cheesiest manner. I haven't been cheesy corny in a while so please bear with me. You see, I have been missing him a lot these past few weeks. Not because I haven't seen him that much but because since we both have such busy schedules it's so hard to just meet and talk.
And I guess without going through all the different motions. This running thoughts in my mind only seem to say one thing. Over and over again. Till all the words run together and become as one short sentence.
I miss you.
Lotsa love, Jana
Labels: Kuya, Love at its janajee-est
