Thursday, March 29, 2007


I want it to rain.

So that I could just stand outside and feel the harsh cold drops hitting both clothed and exposed skin. To feel my face go numb while I stare up at the sky or attempt to stare up at the sky, while blinking a hundred miles per minute.

But, it's not as if I could do that even if it were to rain.

Parents, friends and several other people would be there with a hook, a gun and a threat to make sure I get in the house, showered and changed, into bed with a nice big bowl of hot soup to make sure I don't catch a cold, fever, cough, diarrhea, headache, lung cancer, liver cancer, cancer of the hair and etc.

But they don't see the benefit of hard rain.

When hard rain is falling against you, you forget about the inner pain that you feel, because you're too busy feeling the outer pelting of the drops of water against your skin. You forget about the emptiness inside you, because you're too busy focusing your eyes on the sky while making sure you don't go blind with the pressure of the water. You forget the words and thoughts that plague your mind every single waking minute of your life because you're too busy feeling the cold that goes through your clothes and into your body.

I just wish it would rain now.

Lotsa love, Jana



Anonymous Anonymous said...

A part of us is the one that people know , and the other part where we feel really empty, lost & confused .. And it kills slowly till that part is really dead ..

5:36 PM 
Blogger jana said...


i think...

7:14 PM 

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