Tuesday, March 28, 2006

The weird person gets all weird...

Warning, this is going to be a long entry. Believe me. If you're the type who just likes to skim through and see some points here and there, this entry is not for you to read. I suggest that you skip this entry and go to the more interesting ones, like my big list and all that...

Anyway, back to my entry, I'm at home now meaning I'm creating this entry on my no-internet-access-laptop which is all good actually because I am not rushed to upload when I'm not ready to do so just yet. Don't you feel a little bit rushed when you're typing on the "create post" page itself? Well, I do. So now I have the time to type a long entry without the feeling of being rushed and all that.

Why is it that I feel so sleepy most of the time now? I mean, even when I'm not tired, I can just as easily fall asleep as if I was working for ten hours straight. Why is that? Have I totally become this bed person? Oh my gosh... I'm sleeping my whole life away.

Haha, it's alright. I'm gonna die anyway, might as well be comfortable while I'm at it.

No it's not alright! I don't want to die like that! I don't want to die because I slept too much and my heart became so un-used to me being awake that when I was awake it broke down. I want to do something more with my life! Yes, I am realizing that I am doing nothing in my life so far, and I can't stand it! I do not want my tombstone to read,

Jana Macabali: Waited for life to end

It just isn't cool ok? I want to make an impact. I want to go out with a bang! I feel like ever since I stopped studying and have started waiting for college to start, I feel like I haven't accomplished anything.

I cannot believe I am having a mid-life crisis at seventeen.

I need a life. Anyone willing to lend me theirs?

Alright, so I'm exagerating. I still do have some brain matter left, you know. It's just that you know, I'm just getting a wee bit annoyed at myself. I just feel like, I've slowed down to a stop and I can't stand the wait. I want to be able to do something now.

Plus, you never know how long you're going to last until your life is over. I guess I just want my life to matter. I don't want to die as those nameless people where other people forget about them the moment they're gone for a year. I'd rather die a big loser than to be forgotten. At least when you die as a big loser, people talk about you.

I don't want to be forgotten. I want to leave a legacy. I want my tombstone to say...

Jana Macabali: Did something great

or

Jana Macabali:...

Alright I'm out. Ah, never mind. I bet you're all thinking that I'm this weird person who just really gets... all weird.

Yes I should stop typing now.

Lotsa love, Jana

Labels: Life in the form of chocolate, Olden days

by jana at 9:20 AM |