Saturday, April 15, 2006

The hand I need to hold...

Screwed up again. I hate screwing up when it comes to work and stuff at the office. Today my youth leader called and look who forgot to fax the list of addresses to the bus company? Yep that's me. I hate screwing up over anything. Especially over something so simple and easy. I could have done that so easily, but no, I just had to screw it up again.

To make things quite nice however, I finally got my call! So happy when I got it. I'll give you all more information about that call when I'm more free to do so. But I'm so happy that he gave me a call. Just so happy about it. It was right after my youth leader gave me a call which sort of helped brighten my mood just a little bit.

I can't take it. I can't take all the fake love floating around. Yeah what is wrong with you all? If you can't stick with a person for more than a few hours, a few days, a few weeks, a few months, a few years... then don't ever even start a relationship. If you're in it for "fun" then don't even go in there. Why? Because it's not gonna be "fun" after a while.

It's gonna hurt because no matter what you think, you're still trusting that person. You're still giving them a piece of your life. It just hurts a whole darn lot when it ends and you see them hanging out with someone else. It hurts.

On a different note, an important date is coming up. A very important date. I don't know, I've never really done anything like this before and I hope that he appreciates this because I really want this day to be speacial for him. So this is gonna be the first time I'm going to do this because he wants it and I'm willing, I guess, to give him that. It's not that hard to do anyway.

Don't give me that weird look. I'm not going to be doing anything wrong. Nothing that will make me feel weird or ashamed if everyone knew... well maybe a little bit, that's not why I'm not revealing exactly what it is I'm going to do. But it's not going to be that weird!

Plus he is giving me something in return. All very good things in return besides the fact that he has been the greatest guy who is always there when I need him. He is the best!

You're one of the people that always lifts me up everytime I'm down. You make me smile, you make me laugh and yeah, I'm glad I met you. I hope that things always works out for the best when it comes to you and no matter what, you'll always have a very important place in my heart.

Today, I'll be hanging out at a friend's house and she's got internet connection, so I'll be able to post an entry today after all.

My parents promised me that they'll fix the laptop when I go back to the Philippines and I will have internet access. So yay for that. Yay for internet access! Yay that I will be able to upload my blog daily after all. Yay!

Lotsa love, Jana

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