Thursday, May 04, 2006
I-connect-words-like-this...Love is in the air.
It's amazing how no matter how hard I think of some other introductory line to what I'm gonna say for the next few lines or paragraphes or whatever all I keep coming up is the horrible totally cliched sentence.
Love is in the air. How lame and cliched is that?
Now if I can actually feel the scorn that is supposed to match the previous sentence. But I just don't have it in me. There is just way too much love, that even I am affected.
Couples walking together got me smiling, instead of getting my usual response of Huh-I-bet-they'll-only-for-a-month-I-bet! Teddy bears and all kinds of stuffed things fill me with aww-ish-ness instead of the usual cute-but-I-would-never-buy-a-pillow-with-the-words-I-love-you-on-them-for-myself-because-I-would-seem-so-pathetic-but-I-could-definitely-buy-the-teddy-bear-because-it's-so-adorable.
Even my parents being all touchy-feely around me doesn't trigger the normal response of oh-my-gosh-I-am-your-child-and-this-is-why-we-have-bedrooms. Instead, I'm stuck at the side watching them and thinking about my own wedding day and the day I'll be able to do those kind of things.
Maybe I can look at couples and not get jealous is because I know that I have someone to do all that with in the future and know he actually exists and not just a mere it'll-happen-some-day, when-you-wish-upon-a-star kind of thing. Maybe it's because I know that in a specific place out there, there is this specific guy who is waiting for me.
Maybe it's because I believe and trust what I feel for the guy and maybe it's because I think I can trust him to wait. It's a couple of years wait, sure, but at least we know it's going to happen after we reach both our dreams.
I think I have bitten by the dumb bug that spreads love. [Somebody shoot me now] But hey, I'm not alone. I know there are people out there affected. I know there is at least one out there. Right?
Love is good when it doesn't hurt. And it doesn't hurt in the beginning. Technichally though it's been a while since we've admitted that we like each other, I still think it's the beginning because well, we're not officially together.
This is due to the fact that we're both finishish studying in different countries.
Maybe I should give him a nickname. I mean, I do know a whole lot of other males in my life. So let's see. From now on... I shall call the guy who is waiting for me right now, the Guy? Haha.
By the way, the Guy says the sweetest things.
Am I really sticking with the Guy? I mean as nickname and not my actual Guy. Of course I'm sticking with the Guy and I'm also sticking with the nickname. It's better than the others that popped in my head anyway.
And no I'm not going to reveal what other ideas I had for a nickname. My grey matter is still very much alive and just refuses to embarass itself any further.
Lotsa love, Jana