Sunday, May 28, 2006

Not going to jump off...

Strict uncle comes home today. Which means? No internet late at night. Oh bummer.

When I get my own house, I'm gonna have a balcony that looks out into a jungle, or the sea or anything to do with nature. And at night, I'm going to take out my laptop with me, and with the a soft breeze blowing in my face, I'll type all thoughts all the sentimental thoughts that I have with me.

It's at night that I think all of the depressing yet profound, sad yet thoughful, pessimistic yet important thoughts that go in and out of my head.I think it's because I usually spend the night, when I'm awake, at a high height, feeling some kind of breeze blowing on my face.

Maybe it's the wind that digs up all this thoughts. Who knows?

But you know, though they might be depressing, those times are very important to me. They're one of the times I can truly be by myself, without anyone to bother me. No one looking down on me and no one telling me what I should be doing. What I should be thinking.

Yes, those nights are my favourite nights. Plus, those nights, though they start sad, they always somehow coming back to me realizing that, life isn't so bad.

Life could be much worse.

So I got into an accident that scarred me for life. At least I'm still alive and breathing. At least I still have all of the normal body functions. So I got scars, that turn people off, but at least I know who my true friends are.

So I got broken hearted many times before. At least I learned from my mistakes. At least I know now, that all I need to do is wait and I will get the desire of my heart.

So I'm not pretty, at least I'm funny. The kind that is so very lame, it's funny.

But, hey, at least I'm funny.

Lotsa love, Jana



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