Friday, June 30, 2006
Look ins-ay-iyayi-ide....An empty screen.
That's what sat in front of me at first. I wanted to fill it with funny little thoughts that would have something in-depth look into the being that is me.
I realized that no matter how deep I look, I still have no idea who I am.
Somehow, it escapes my grasp and my grey matter gets numb chasing it from place to place, all in vain.
Who the heck is this girl staring at me from the mirror? What the heck does she want from me? Why does she continue to glare at me as if I was a hated enemy from long ago?
I sound like that really famous song from Mulan, Reflection.
Imagine me singing and wearing that goofy outfit,
Who is that girl I see? Staring straight back at me. Why is my reflection someone I don't know?... Blah blah blah... When will my reflection show, who I am ins-ay-iyayi-ide?
I am not having an identity crisis, but sometimes, I just wish I had something unique, something that's mine and mine alone. I mean, I know I have it somewhere in the deep recess of my brain, just need to find it.
It's there right. I was made for something, a skill of my very own.
Something I could excel in completely, without the help of anyone except God.
I wonder what that is? Have I already found it and just don't know that I have? Like the ability to wash clothes with your feet instead of your hands? Maybe it's something bigger, maybe I was meant to sing... on second thought... Cancel that idea.
I think my earlier point about how my voice sounds like a cross-breed between a frog and a bull just absolutely denies and nullifies any chance of that happening.
Maybe I haven't discovered it yet.
Wonder what it is?
Well glaring at a mirror definitely is going to help me figure it out... Though it did show me that I need to actually comb my hair more often.
Lotsa love, Jana
Labels: Life in the form of chocolate