Saturday, August 05, 2006

What consultants don't tell you...

You know what one of the best jobs would be?

To be a consultant. It's what every domineering people ought to take. It's practically a dream job. I mean they get to do what they want and really get paid to do so.

Consultant tell people what to do.

Man. If I was a consultant, I'd have to try one thing with my client... I mean just totally imaging this little scene.

"Ma'am, what should I do so that I would get this result in the stock-market?"

"You've got to wear a clown suit."

"Uh..."

"Yes, a yellow, orange polka dot clown suit."

"May I ask why?"

"It raises your confidence. If you're confident enough to wear that while at work, then that means you will have the confidence enough to take risks. And everyone knows you will always have to take risks when it comes to them stocks."

"Oooh."

"That'll be $300. Please pay on your way out."

I mean you can give all kinds of things for them to do and they'd do it.

Ask them to clean your house. Excuse? Builds character. Do your laundry. Excuse? Teaches them about life. Buy you all kinds of things. Excuse? Cures materialism. Drive you everywhere in the car that they bought for you. Excuse? Gives them the sense of direction.

You get a maid/driver and they pay you.

Lotsa love, Jana

***
How this blog topic came about.

Dz - i shud b like a consultant instead of an engineer

Me - consultant is fun

Me - you get to tell people what to do

Dz - ahahaha

Me - and get paid for it

Me - !!

Dz - exactly

Dz - sounds very fun to me

Me - it is!

Me - it's one of my dreams

Dz - ahha.. took the wrong course .. dammit

Me - yeah.

Me - but if i took that course...

Me - i'd seriously just try and make them wear a clown suit...

Me - just one time

Me - and see if he/she would actually do it.

Dz - ahAHhAAHahHAahhaa

Dz - hey that would be a good one

Me - And guess what... I'm gonna get paid to see someone wear a clown suit

Me - C'mon!

Me - That has got to be the best job!

Dz - ahahaha

Dz - of course !!!

Dz - best job everrrr.. bnwahahahaha

Me - Tell them to clean your house.

Me - Builds character

Me - Buy YOU things...

Me - Cures materialism.

Dz - rofl

Dz - u have it all planned out havent u *grins*

Me - Yes!

Me - Wash your clothes.

Me - Makes them independent

Me - Drive you around the place

Me - Teaches them sense of direction

Dz - ahahaha

Me - You actually get a maid/driver and they pay you.

Me - I wish I took that course.

Dz - rofl

Dz - too bad ei

Me - Yeah. It really is.

Dz - maybe i can still take that course

Me - Yay!

Me - Someone must at least attain my dreams!

Dz - lol

Dz - i'd go for that clown suit first

Me - And maybe you can send one of your clients to me....

Me - so you know they can build character

Me - at my place

Dz - lol

Me - and cure materialism..

Me - get a sense of direction.

Me - independence

Me - you know...

Dz - ahahaha

Dz - yeap yeap

Me - it would all be to help them

Dz - i get what u'mean' (;

Dz - its all to help them after all

Dz - eheheheheh >:}

Me - Of course.

Me - They have to learn something out of all of this.

Edited

Read Dz version, albeit very very short version of it.

Oh and I forced him to post it that's why.

Labels: Life in the form of chocolate

by jana at 8:06 PM |