Friday, September 08, 2006
Not enough time...I'm scared.
I should be happy at how things turned out and how things are getting better when it comes to the support of my studies over here. But unfortunately, it's giving a much opposite effect.
It's scaring me so very much.
I don't want to disappoint them. My parents, the Guy and the people who have helped me. I don't want to fall down and make mistakes with so many people expecting me to do good.
I hate expectations.
But I want to fulfill not only for them but for myself.
Which is why I have done nothing but read and study, book after book after book. The lazy-ness in me has been replaced by a very strong fear of failing.
Back in high-school, I really couldn't care less about my studies. But it's different now.
I've got people to please. Work to do. Scholarships to obtain. There is no time to be lazy-ing around anymore.
No time whatsoever.
Lotsa love, Jana