Friday, January 19, 2007

Federal Fingership

Dear Person-Who-Stole-My-Wallet

I know who you are. I know where you live. I saw what you did last summer. I know your kids.

Ok, maybe I don't know who the heck and how the heck you managed to steal my wallet in my bag at my house. I'm guessing I'm either related to you in some way or you were visiting my cousins, which is in a way a relation to you except it's not blood related. Or maybe you're cousin-who-lives-in-the-U-S-of-A's wife who is still leaving here. I may have taken care of your kid if that's the case.

Anyway, shame on you!

Stealing from a poor innocent girl.

I hope you get diabetes or vomit all over the carpet right after you finished cleaning it. Or get dropped on by flying glowing pig and be infected with it's disease.

Or or or!

Not only your finger but also your toes will fall off for the sins that your fingers have committed. Kinda like the Federal Headship except maybe Federal Fingership. The decision of the fingers affects the lives of the toes or some other hooplah like that.

See, that's theology put into action.

However, if you ever decide to return my wallet, I take back everything I ever said in this post and I only hope that you would never do it again.

Yes, even without the money.

But, if you don't...

Well, the Federal Fingership is gotta get you one way or the other.

Lotsa love, Jana



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