Thursday, February 22, 2007

A rant cut short...

An oxymoron.

"I'm so proud of my humility and how humble I am. I think I just might be the most humble person on the planet."

But, it's true isn't?

Sometimes when we deny ourselves and we bring ourselves down. When we exalt someone else over us and we hear topics on how God is gonna bless those who are humble, there is this little part of us, that swells with pride.

We're proud that we're humble.

We're proud that unlike them we don't show off.

We're showing off how we're not showing off.

Sometimes I have to stop myself from thinking cause I have definitely fallen into this so many times that I haven't learnt to count that far yet. In fact it's probably one of my most common sins committed.

It's depressing.

Topic at chapel today was humility and I have to admit, that I fail on that area. I act like I'm humble. Sometimes I even fool myself that I'm humble. But in all truth, I'm proud and I take pride in my humility.

I do it not because I want to be humble but because I want people to notice that I'm humble and tell me I'm humble and therefore I'd be proud of the fact that I'm humble.

It's also quite dumb.

I'm hungry.

In my most humble opinion, I think I have rambled on long enough that it's about time that I satisfy not my need for typing and expressing my opinions and satisfy the hunger that is causing my stomach to grumble and complain.

And twitch and twist around in my gut.

Next time I try to think about my inner motives and my inner personality, I'm gonna do it with a full stomach.


Lotsa love, Jana



Blogger Tammie Jean said...

Sounds like a bit of a conundrum Jana! I love your layout, by the way.

5:32 AM 
Blogger jana said...

haha thanks. a friend made it for me. ^^

10:53 AM 

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