Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Dratted rat...

There was a humongous big rat running in and out of the house.

It's big, it's scary, it's black and it was freaking fast.

The first time it made it's appearance was when I was sitting pretty (ok, so not that pretty) on a chair and prettily (again do forgive me for lying, but if I'm not going to flatter me who else will?) watching TV when I thought I saw a kitten. I was all aww-cutie-kitty and love-love-small-adorable-things and run-run-run-but-quietly-so-no-no-scaring-kitty.

But then I noticed that this little-supposed-kitten doesn't seem like normal kittens. It didn't seem to have a tail and if it did, it must have been either really small or really thin. Then I felt really aww-poor-thing. I bet all the other kittens in the neighborhood made fun of him and maybe that's why it's all alone but don't worry little kitty I'll take care of you and I'll hug you and love you and smother you with milk and things that kittens like even though I do prefer puppies to kittens but hey beggars can't be choosers right?

And then I realized it was a rat.

A big ugly smelly rat.

And then I realized, it's an animal too and maybe it needs a little bit of love and maybe if I feed it something it might learn to love me as it's master and then we'll have the loyal relationship of master and pet and then if I fall into a pit, it will carry a letter to my prince charming and he will save my life and I will live happily ever after with my prince charming and my rat and when my rat dies I'll be devastated and I'll cry and I'll give it a proper burial and it'll always be remembered forever and ever and ever and ever. Or at least until I die or everyone who knows it dies too.

So with a new plan in mind I stood up, telling myself to look past the ugly fur and icky looking face and the yucky thin tail. I was still going to love it. It took one look at me, with it's red beady eyes and it's ugly nose and ran away really fast as if it saw a monster.

Oh yeah?! Well I didn't want to take care of an ugly rat anyway! Forget me feeding you with delicious food and milk and buying little toys to play with!! And you can forget that nice burial and the really expensive coffin that I was going to buy for you when you die. In fact if I ever see you again you're dead! Dead!!

Then I threw a slipper at its general direction.

Lotsa love, Jana



Post a Comment

<< Home