Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Second place...

Just one more.

An inch nearer. A step closer. A line straighter. A word longer. A thought deeper. A color richer. A moment brighter. A place higher. A second faster. A minute longer.

All it takes is just one more to make you number one and you fail at the last stage. You fall behind at the last lap or you lack that one aspect that makes you the best and someone who didn't miss it. Someone who saw what you didn't see. Someone who saw what ought to be changed. Someone who saw what ought to be added.

And they grabbed first place just like that.

Second place is my place. I've been there so long that I have taken up residence, built my house, had my meals and I'm probably going to die as a second placer. The one who nearly made it but had to make that small mistake and end up falling short. Flat on my face.

I am so tired of being second. I am so tired of failing to see that one small aspect that somehow that numero uno saw and now I'm stuck hiding behind numero uno's shadow. Suffocating under the weight of my choices and the fact that dude how can I not have seen that?

Or instead, I could be trying my very very hardest not to twist the neck of the tall numero uno, because in effect without numero uno, numero segundo will be numero uno.

Then ex-numero segundo will act all innocent and sad at the demise of the now-dead numero uno, but really all she would want to do is to throw a week-long party for all the numeros that follows right after her.

Can I please be first place just once?

Lotsa love, Jana

Labels: Life in the form of chocolate

by jana at 2:11 PM |