Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Gut eating feeling...Regrets.
It's that feeling that feels like it's eating your gut out and sometimes you can hear the chewing loud and clear and sometimes you can drown out the sound with other thoughts and loud sounds but then out of the blue it's going to pop out to remind you that hey, my name is Regret and I'm eating your guts out.
Now, as a normal human being, I have a lot of regrets in my life. Though sometimes I wouldn't call it regrets, I would call them probably... What if thoughts. What if I did that, what if I did this, what if I didn't do that, do this, do anything but this? What if I was someone else, what if I wasn't like this, what if I didn't screw that, what if I allowed that to happen, what if I stopped that, what if I wasn't as impulsive then? What if...
I'd probably a lot sadder, happier, more laughter, more tears. My life would be probably 100% non-recognizable and I guess... I want to see that me who isn't me anymore.
Biggest regret: Lost friendship.
Lotsa love, Jana
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