Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Paths...

Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice.

A couple of days ago, I went to visit a friends art exhibit thing. Thing is, I felt extremely weird. I felt like... well jealous if I'm being honest. I stood there and I realized that I could have been doing something like this. There was a chance that a freaking TV station would be doing an interview with me. There was a chance that it would be me facing an editor and having my work shown to the world. And you know what, that could have been me standing there looking all pretty and nice, instead of the sunburned freak that just came back from a missionary trip in Mindanao, the one with the broken glasses because of an accident over there. And I guess it hurt to realize that once again, people change and you change and situations change and soon people aren't what you expect them to be, because time sucks in that it changes everything.

But that's not what hurts the most.

She introduced me to her friends as... the friend from Brunei. I don't know why it hurts so much but it did. I felt like the freak from Brunei, the person of her past and you know not really a part of her glamorous present.

It hurt.

So maybe things change and people meet new people and old people of the past don't really qualify to be part of your present anymore and you start thinking what if you chose a different direction in life then maybe you'd have what she has and then maybe you guys would still be able to be really really close and you won't feel like she's so glamorous and you're so... not.

But then when you think about it, you may wonder about what you're life maybe like if you chose something else, and yet you know that deep down inside of you, given the chance you would have chosen the same thing all over again.

And I would have chosen the same thing all over again. I may not be as glamorous and as pretty as her or as well known as she might be but I would be just as happy, maybe even happier because I know I'm going down the right path.

I made the right choice.

Lotsa love, Jana

Labels: Lo this deserves no category

by jana at 3:07 PM |