Saturday, October 11, 2008
Why I Never Became A Smoker
I hate it when people spit.
It's like when I see them spit, the world slows down and every second lasts an hour, I see them pucker their lips, slowly gathering the fluid in one area of their mouth, I hear the sound of it evacuating their mouth and slowly the fluid escape their lips and land on the ground. Then my head explodes in one big loud EEEEEEWWWWW and somewhere in a land far far away, someone can't finish their sentences because I used up all the E's and W's.
I tried smoking only once.
I got the cigarette from a friend at school and I don't remember what brand it was, but he said it was one of the best and stuff. He even taught me how to smoke it.
So I did it. I smoked the cigarette, but right after it, I had this really big urge to spit and before thinking, I spat. The world slowed down almost to a halt and my brain exploded with an overdose of a thousand E's and W's directed at me.
When my brain finally started working, I swore off cigarettes, not because my lungs are going to turn black, not because my teeth are going to turn yellow, not because I'm going to smell like something that died on a highway, no though those are really good reasons to never touch a cigarette again, but the real reason I never smoked again was because it made me spit.
And spitting is EEEEEEEEWWWWWWW.
Lotsa love, Jana