Monday, December 01, 2008
Been blog-hopping again and why is it I realize so many things and end up give names to the feelings that is currently messing with me when I read other people's words and see other people's faces.
Everyone has changed from the awkward chubby (in nadie's words = so effing bida) (ok no, I just made that up, but you know the potential of her saying that is actually really high) phase into this really pretty and gorgeous lady.
And I'm stuck here, still looking effing bida.
The scars are never going to fade. The skin is never going to be smooth. The hand is never going to stop looking like some twisted fried chicken. The people are never going to stop and stare, not because I'm gorgeous but because I'm effing bida.
And no matter how smart, how girly, how accesorized, how loud, how friendly I am, I will still be forever pegged as that girl with the scars, poor baby.
They're so pretty and gorgeous and I'm so... not.
This depressing post is so over.
Lotsa love, Jana