Sunday, July 25, 2010

Some Weird Feeling

I'm staring at a blank screen.

I don't know whether I ought to be sad or happy or annoyed or whatever really in general. Things haven't spiraled out of control just yet, but I'm not exactly doing cartwheels either. It's just everything seems to be at a standstill. I'm expecting something, but nothing is coming. It's like the only new things that are popping about are things to watch for me, but other than that... has it been so pathetic that the only thing new in my life are new episodes of shows to download and watch? Is this all I have now?

I'm probably just depressed at the moment, because I know that the moment I wake up tomorrow, I'll feel bright and chipper, and happy at the prospect of having something new to watch. But tonight, can I just be me, and be just a little down and out? Can I just lock myself up somewhere, crawl into a small corner and just weep?

Can I just do all of that even if I don't know why I want to?

See you on the other side.

Lotsa love, Jana



Blogger Ethlenn said...

Oh, honey, if I could somehow cheer you up!
I blame it partially on myself for your low mood, cause of all my harsh words on DA (no, not for you). But I will neither give you an advice nor I will say "cheer up". Because saying this is not equal to making this.

I guess everyone has those days of futility, of staring just blank at one point for hours. It will pass, or rather you need to force it to pass.

I just want to let you know, that we are with you.

5:15 AM 
Blogger jana said...

Aww, Ate, it's not that :( We're all allowed to have our own opinions especially when it comes to what we like and what we don't like, so don't worry about that :) And thanks for not giving any advice, because even I don't know why I was out and out last night, I didn't expect anyone else to understand it either.

And thanks for being there. It's enough to know that you guys care :)

6:52 PM 

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