Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Sucky summer...

Two plus weeks gone and past.

I didn't plan the unannounced hiatus, it just happened.

List of things that happened for the two plus weeks,

1. I graduated. With honors. I know I should be more enthusiastic but I'm greatly disappointed with myself. I could have gotten the top position but I didn't. I could have been the one up there with my parents putting the medal on me.

But because of certain circumstances, I didn't.

I let myself down.

I hate not being able to reach something I know I can but because of some stupid neglect on my part, I didn't get it.

Greatly disappointed, but believe me it gets much worse.

2. The Guy and I are over.

I wish I can expand on what I feel and why I feel that way, what happened and how it happened. I wish I can give the gory details, the phone calls, the begging, the ignoring, the hurt, the anger, the tears...

But, I'd rather not.

Not because I don't want to share but because I feel if I open up and share, the wounds that I tried so hard to mend would open up again.

Let's just say, I couldn't give everything he expected and it was over.

3. My Grandfather is losing his eyesight.

And this is the straw that broke the camel's freaking back.

I broke down and cried.

I'm starting to think my summer holiday is going to end up pretty sucky.

Lotsa love, Jana

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