Thursday, May 08, 2008
Time...Past: Me. Messy hair. Boyish clothes. Too lazy to take a bath even though I'm really smelly and sweaty and using the whole conserve water as an excuse to not take a shower. Didn't realize that things like colognes, lotions, hand creams, facial creams, whitening toothpaste, feminine wash etc. existed let alone the fact that girls my age actually use them. Really couldn't care less if I look like I can beat you up if you just happened to look at me in that way. Diet consists of softdrinks, junk food and lots and lots of fried stuff. Studying just so I can [barely] pass in school.
Present: Me. Slightly, very, girly clothes. Actually dieting and making sure I eat healthy foods so that my arteries and veins actually survive past 40. Hanging around beauty shops and buying all kinds of creams to make sure my face doesn't explode into pimples and my skin will be nice and smooth. Getting my hair done. Taking at least two showers a day, sometimes three bordering on four. Actually starting to think and act like a girl and letting people actually take care of me as one. Working hard to get the best grades I can get.
Future: I don't know. I just want to take care of myself long enough and good enough so that I can take care of you long enough and better enough.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you've changed me a lot. And I just want you to know that I'm doing all of this things because I want to be the best that I can ever be so that I can help you bring out the very best that you can ever be.
Loving you doesn't make me want to give up everything just to be with, but striving and working hard so that we can have everything together.
If that makes any sense.
Lotsa love, Jana