Sunday, December 21, 2008
You and Only YouDear Kuya,
I miss you.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm being too needy and clingy and sometimes I try to stop myself from holding on to you too tightly, always worrying if you would be able to stand the crazy that is me. Sometimes I drive myself crazy with the thought that maybe, maybe I love you more than you love me and maybe that my craziness would really finally drive you away from me. Sometimes, a lot of times actually, I almost believe myself.
But then you come and you smile and you say that you'll always love me and that I should trust you more and yeah maybe I should trust you more because you've never really given me a valid reason to not trust you and you always did show that you love me and it amazes me that you do love me in spite, despite, whatever, of the insanity always building up inside of me, you're still here.
Whatever happens to me, whatever happens to you, I know that in the bottom of my heart that I'll love no one else but you. You are everything that makes love worth risking. Though I cry because of you, I know it'll be forever hard to smile if I lose you. Wrong decisions, bad mistakes, they'll come but whatever they may be, nothing is going to change the fact that for the rest of my life, I only love you and you alone.
I miss you.
Lotsa love, Jana
P.S. Teehee, I love you.