Friday, March 20, 2009

The Thing That Goes on in My Head

From the table of my imaginary psychiatrist who can read my mind:

Subject: Jana, aka The Crazy
Age: 20

Observations on Day 54

The subject has decided that though the two weeks she has spent in front of the TV, going numb using the computer and sleeping in her bed past lunchtime have been fun and all, but it is time now to pull up her socks and kick into high gear and work her butt off again for some more mind numbing experience called summer classes, and a summer job.

So on this day, she woke up early, took a nice shower and left the house early.

And so then started her crazy day, made crazy only because said subject is crazy. She took a jeep that would take her to the same stop she has been taking for about two years now, and the subject has been doing this, to be redundant and repetitive and therefore emphasizing the fact, for two years. The amazing thing is that though she has been doing this same thing for two years, she gets lost.

Which is a proof in itself that the subject, the Crazy, has no sense, nada, none at all, as in complete zero, sense of direction and should be forever banned from driving a car because the said subject would get lost immediately after approximately five minutes.

After asking a guard and looking like the retard that she is, she finally finds her original stop, which is the train station and gets on the train, nothing special here as the subject displayed normal behavior for a human being, so let's move on to the her next stop which is the bus stop, and she finally gets on the bus.

While on the bus, a bald guy with tattoos all over his arms sat next to the subject. Instead of getting scared of the big scary man with tattoos, the subject indulged herself into daydreams about her being the kind and gracious lady that she thinks she is and taking this bad boy under her wing and making him realize the error of his ways and turning him into a good boy. Daydream also included a proposal from Mr. Bad Turned Good Boy By Gracious Lady, which the subject did not accept because she was in love with someone else, and this is all happening in her head.

The subject's daydream was cut short when she noticed the size of the guy's arms and promptly became scared; a normal human reaction that came too late. Subject maybe suffering from delayed emotional response to stimuli. Note: Must remember to list that among her many defects. So after the subject realized that she is scared stiff that this guy might decide to kill her with his bare hands, because he definitely seems capable to do so, she starts repeating the chant that she has coined in times of distress: OH GOSH, PLEASE DO NOT KILL ME, I AM BEGGING YOU DO NOT KILL ME, even though at the back of her mind, there is this lingering thought that he probably will not hurt her as she is of course the gracious lady, he'll be moved before he even takes the swing, but the subject decides to still chant, just in case. After chanting several times, Mr. Bald Bad Guy moves a few seats in front of her.

He sits next another girl and promptly plays a sort of mini-war with her about the aircon-thing and who gets to have it. The subject laughs to herself and thanks her lucky stars that that very capable bald dude did not tear her apart with his bear hands and also the whole war thing was kind of cute. Subject seems to swing from daydreams to paranoia to delirious happy thoughts all in an hour. The Crazy is truly, as her alias suggests, crazy.

Nothing much occurs when she arrives at the college, except for enrollment for another mathematics subject. The subject however did curse whoever decided to create mathematics in the first place, and also the person who decided that it should be imposed upon innocent students such as she claims herself to be.

When the subject takes the train home, she notices a little old lady standing while all males in the near vicinity are either pretending to not notice her or sleeping. The subject decides to be gentleman, or rather gentle-lady, enough for those male dorks, and stands for the little old lady. The subject smiles and encourages the little old lady to sit down in her place but the little old lady only smiled and refused. The subject insists only to be refused again, and so she sits down and thinks, dude, what the heck happened?? because that was slightly embarrassing. And then she notices that when a male finally stood for the little old lady, Ms. Little Old Lady sat down without so much as a second look.

The subject has asked whether the old lady was just being nice to her, or whether this is a form of sexism in itself, and I was unable to give any form of answer. I apologize. It seemed the subject was greatly disturbed by this because for the first time ever since she has been taking the train, she missed her stop, and had to take another station back. Stupid subject.

Finally after all of the traveling was said and done, it was time to walk the few meters back home, and it was during this few meters that the subject has realized something about her body. It seems that every time she would take a step, she'd feel a slight stabbing pain to her knee joints. Subject is slightly pissed off at the revelation. Note: Subject seems to suffer from juvenile rheumatism at the age of twenty.

Final comments:

The subject is still obviously out of her mind and this entails that she must be kept under constant observation because who knows what she'll do to harm herself and the those that surround her.

...

Well that was woozy day.

Lotsa love, Jana

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2 Comments:

Blogger Aspidiske said...

THIS IS ALL TRUE.
I have been brainwashed by my laptop. D8 the horror of it! I guess it'll be good if we take short breaks. Tea perhaps?

HAHA, thanks for this blog post ate Jana! :D now I know what's going on. In your head! XD

11:45 PM 
Blogger jana said...

@CJ; hahaha, welcome to my world

12:06 PM 

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