Friday, July 07, 2006
An after note..."Ka ka ka ka kaaaa..."
Hands on my stomach, back straight, shoulders back, head high.
I felt strongly and weirdly like a chicken, or a rooster calling out early in the morning on top of rooftops or somewhere high. Like a living alarm clock that has the potential to be dinner.
I felt dumb.
What's worse, I was doing it wrong.
I can't even be dumb and do it right.
Vocalizing for the first time, you get to do with weird things with your vocal cords. Like sounding like a can insecticide ("Che che che che cheeehhh...") and being told that you need to yawn your voice for it to sound good.
I despise, hate, loathe and in other words do not like singing publicly where I have to "project" my frog-bull-voice or studying musical thing-a-ma-bobs. Why?
Notes, numbers, lines and symbols makes no sense and my brain goes numb just for trying.
I watched our conductress as she continually scratches her head. Making us repeat the same line, over and over and over again.
She wanted us to sound right.
An idea struck me and I realized, there is something I can do to help her. I should do something about this.
"That's right! You're all finally doing it!"
"You're all doing great!"
Comments of possitivity flowed, one after another. She smiles proudly at her students. Why?
I opened my mouth, but my vocal chords remained shut, like a coffin never to be opened again. Except if someone tries to rob the dead.
Which is really not advisable.
Lotsa love, Jana